Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
