He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
