I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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