Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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