Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
