I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
