I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
