not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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