Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
