Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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