How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize