He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
