i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
