When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
