So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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