ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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