you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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