Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
