Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
