This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
