As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
