He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
