I skipped work to stalk him.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
