There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You're a waste of cheezeits
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
