I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
