Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
