do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
