you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
