Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
