You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
