that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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