its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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