flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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