I need help removing her.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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