This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
