i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
