my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
