Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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