Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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