Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
