The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
