nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
