i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
