Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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