He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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