Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
