I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
