My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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