Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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