whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize