we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
