Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
