Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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