I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
