he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
