The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
