It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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