I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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