STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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