Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
