Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
