I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
