party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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