P.S. I can't hear my feet
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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